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Newlyweds: Nick and Jessica, Episode 10:
Fooling Jessica
by Sting7, from Reality News Online
 The first year
of marriage is almost over. Jessica ponders her maturity level, while Nick
does his best to plan an anniversary full of romance and surprises. Will
Jessica survive her attempt at a romantic dinner at home? Will any of Nick's
plans actually come through?
As we join the Newlyweds, they are in the midst of one of their dizzying
discussions. Nick wants to know why they have to eat out all of the time.
It’s a waste of money. There are quarters screaming in his pocket at this
very moment. Jessica says she never has time to shop. Nick says there are a
couple of heads of lettuce in the fridge. Jess says they’re old. Nick is
determined he’s going to eat something. He’s having cereal. Jess says you
can’t have cereal for lunch. It’s not noon yet, Nick sulks. Jessica promises
she will make him a big dinner. After her manicure/pedicure session.
Jessica asks if he thinks she’s become more independent since they’ve
been married. Nick says, “Mmm-hmm.”
Jessica returns from the grueling manicure/pedicure session after dark.
She woefully tells Nick dinner won’t be until 11:00 PM. Nick says they have
a movie to see. He offers they can see the movie another time, then, just
like Nick, he starts looking for later movie times! Jessica feels crummy.
She promises she’ll make dinner tomorrow. Nick calls Leah and Drew to see if
they can make the 9:30 movie. Oh, you ate already? That was quick! Jessica
moans that Leah and Drew had dinner on the table, and all she had was
grocery bags on the table! Nick says they can have corn dogs! Jessica feels
even worse. She swears she will make dinner tomorrow. She wails, “I’m a bad
wife!”
And... it’s tomorrow. And, Jessica is hard at work. She asks Nick for two
sticks of butter. Two whole sticks, Nick gasps. An eighth of a stick equals
a tablespoon, right, Nick says. Uh, yeah! Jessica says. What on earth is she
making? “You’re having chicken with your pasta!” Nick whoops with joy. “I’m
making you a well-balanced meal!”
Who knew the key to nutrition was just chicken and pasta??
Nick wanders out to the patio and calls Jessica’s dad. He says that they
are going to San Diego for their anniversary, but it’s a surprise for
Jessica. So, don’t mention it. While Nick is making plans, Jessica is
struggling with the chicken. The grease popping makes her “ow” constantly.
Two whole sticks of butter...
Nick tells us that Jessica’s favorite movie is Pretty Woman, she
loves flowers and champagne and the classic romantic stuff. As she slices
cucumbers (oh no, sharp objects!), Jessica tells us in her best June Cleaver
voice that she never learned to cook until she started seeing Nick. Nick
said she had to be more of a woman before he’d marry her, so she learned
how.
Jessica survives the chicken and feeds Nick. The brief glimpse of the
plates look pretty good. Nick confirms she did a great job. He should make
her dinner tomorrow. What’s he making, Jess asks, steaks? Grilled hot dogs,
Nick corrects her. No really, what are you making me? “What do you want?
I’ll have it catered in.”
Nick and Jessica do an interview with the Daily News. The reporter
asks why Jessica planned such a grueling schedule (book, album, television
show) in her first year of marriage. Jessica says she wants to dedicate her
life to their children, so she wants to do as much as she can now, while
she’s still young enough to do it (“I want to have kids before Nick turns
40!”).
Reporter says he hears they are headed to San Diego! Nick laughs a
frustrated laugh. Jessica is confused (again). Nick tries not to confirm,
while reporter just smiles blankly. Reporter gone (possibly killed and
buried in the back yard), Jessica presses, and Nick has to confess that he
planned a surprise trip. Meanwhile, he’s hosing the driveway. Jessica asks
what he’s doing. Nick says he’s cleaning the driveway. Jessica asks why
doesn’t he just wait till it rains. (Huh?)
The next morning, the couple get ready to go. Nick carries the luggage to
the car. Nick hollers for Jessica to bring her passport, but Jessica can’t
find her passport. She looks and looks and looks. “Did somebody steal it??”
she gasps. Nick snarls, “What’s more likely, somebody stole it or you lost
it?” Nick tells her to forget it, he was just kidding. What? We’re not going
to Mexico. What? It was part of the trick, but he doesn’t want to waste
anymore time having her look for something they don’t really need.
In the car, Jessica studies a map of Mexico. Nick reminds her again, they
aren’t going to Mexico. “It was an elaborate trick that had to be...
squashed.” As they pull out of the driveway with Jessica excavating through
her purse, she finds the passport! “Don’t be mad at me,” she whimpers.
Jess and Nick arrive at a beautiful hotel in San Diego, the Valencia.
Nick offers her some Cristal! Jessica is impressed. It’s not like him to
spend $500 on a bottle of champagne (or even $5 for that matter). Nick says
it’s the new him. Awww! Nick tells us he is planning on taking Jessica on a
balloon ride, which she has always wanted to do.
Nick explains to Manny, the hotel concierge, that Jessica thinks they are
going out to dinner, but they are really having it there (when Manny gets done
doing whatever they planned). Manny understands. Nick asks his name again. Hard
to be a pop star.
They drive to a racetrack. Jessica asks if they are really going to a race
track. Nick says sure. She says, “Well, I’m not racing!” Nick can’t stifle the
giggle. He didn’t bring her there to race! They’ll watch Sea Biscuit do it. “The
real one?” Nick doesn’t answer her. Speaking of Sea Biscuit, some hag introduces
Carly, whose father played a jockey in the movie Sea Biscuit (she must
mean Chris McCarron). Jessica asks if her father is running, she means, riding,
in a race today. Carley yawns he was supposed to be in the sixth, but he had to
scratch. Jessica looks at her blankly.
Meanwhile, Nick learns the sunset balloon ride has to be cancelled due to the
weather. Nick can’t believe his ears. He goes to Jessica to tell her the bad
news. He was planning a balloon ride – “That’s my dream!” she bubbles. Poor guy.
It can’t happen tonight. She is bummed. He says they can go in the morning, but
if they do, she deserves to know in advance. As they leave, Jessica admonishes
Nick, the next time he plans a surprise, tell her what shoes to wear.
Instead, they take a cruise. Indeed, her shoes are all wrong for a boat ride.
The captain sternly insists that she go barefoot. As they slice the waves, Nick
and Jessica quietly sing “You Are My Sunshine” to each other. It’s genuinely
sweet.
Back to the room, Nick is telling her they have to change for dinner, but as
she enters, she sees the room has rose pedals all over the floor and the room is
aglow with candles and a crackling fire in the fireplace. She gasps in wonder.
(Nice one, Nick!) He makes a romantic toast, that she interrupts begging him not
to be cheesy. He simply says, “I love you.” She loves him too. Awww! Jessica
notices that he has her favorite wine for dinner and everything! He toasts to
his wonderful wife, Jessica sighs she should be a better wife. She should be
cooking and cleaning and picking up after him, but he does all of that himself!
Nick notes how calm and peaceful it is at the Valencia, “It’s like so much
calmer than L.A.!” Right on cue, a car alarm goes off! “Alright, forget that.” (Heh!)
Nick says they are going to Tijuana. To see a girl have sex with a donkey.
“They do that in Tijuana?” Jessica gasps. (You know she’s going to tell
someone she knows that for a fact!) “I don’t want to go anywhere else!” she
whines. Nick sprinkles some rose pedals in the drawn bath. I don’t think they
are going anywhere else!
Next morning, they pack the car. Jessica says Nick is SO romantic. Nick
realizes he should open the door for his wife, especially after that compliment.
Jessica says she will back up and let that happen! As they drive off, Jessica
says they should do this again sometime. Nick suggests, what about next year!
As the credits roll, an previously unviewed clip shows Nick and Jessica in
the kitchen. Jessica asks if Nick is starving as he fishes through the fridge.
He whips out a can of tuna and says, “Here’s some chicken! We can have this in
our salad!” Jessica, blushing, smacks his arm. Nice touch!
And so ends Season One of Newlyweds. The show everyone claims to hate,
but they sure are watching it!
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